hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize