I cockslap morals
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
