I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
