my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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