That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
