True but thats because hes a fetus.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
