it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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