Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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