I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
