be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
