Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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