Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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