i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
