Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
