i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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