Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
not ubering you a puppy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
