After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We left the knife in your bed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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