checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
