hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
