Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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