she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
