Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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