Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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