But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
