smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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