Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
