thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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