I'm gonna have a badass scar
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
