I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
