I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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