O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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