Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
