this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
