well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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