I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
