id be glad to
After last night, I could never be a politician.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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