There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
pray to the hookup gods
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
