Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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