Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
