Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
