would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Randomize
