My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
