I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
