He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
