lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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