and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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