I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
