Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
