There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
