I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
