Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
