just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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