The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
