Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
