i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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