Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize