Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie

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(281): View more from Texas

I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

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(512): View more from Texas

honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."

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(310): View more from California

If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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(424): View more from California

My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.

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