I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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