Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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