it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
