My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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