THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have fence marks all over my body
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize