It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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