Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
