hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
