wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
