Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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