So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
