I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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